Why I’m (pretty much) Over It
Posted by Jules | Filed under That's Life
So I’m pretty much over this whole Virgo thing. It’s just.. ARGH, asshole!
Right now he’s going bipolar on me, OMG Jules I love you don’t leave me, OMG Jules I can’t fucking stand you go away. There’s not even any middle ground. There’s never a moment I can just catch my breath and TALK to him without him spazzing out about it.
I think know that a lot of the tension is coming from me and Kailyn moving in here. Before, when the two of us were living with Hope, things with me and Virgo were still mostly okay. There was a little weirdness at first, but it cleared up. Haze and Hope would even watch Kailyn every once in a while so that Virgo and I could go do stuff like we normally had before Kailyn came. But then when Haze and Hope left, not only did me and Kailyn move in with Virgo, but he lost his best friend. I really think that Haze was the reason that Virgo had any sort of self-restraint. He seems to be on a downward spiral that’s painfully familiar to me.
And therein lies MY biggest problem. It’s not fair of me to expect Virgo to grow up so fast because of MY decision, I know that. But at the same time, I had to make a lot of sacrifices and do a hell of a lot of growing REALLY FUCKING FAST. Maybe I’m resentful. But I can’t shake the feeling that if he really did love me, then he’d be willing to at least make a few sacrifices for us. It’s not just me anymore, now it’s the Jules and Kailyn Package Deal.
I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this though.
The worst part is, I do still care about him. We were a good thing for a long time. And I know somewhere there’s still my old Virgo. I just don’t know if he’s ever going to come out again.
Tags: drama, problems, relationship
